I feel like the older I get the less I feel but the more I know. And all this knowing and not feeling keeps my fingers at rest. When I was younger it was the opposite. I felt too much and knew too little but I couldn’t stop writing and everything felt like it just flowed through me. Everything talked to me and I didn’t understand and now I understand but nothing talks to me. I write hello over and over in my journal and I wait but nothing happens. I think a lot about growing older and I just hate it. I hate that we’re all going to die and everyone around us is going to die and at some point we’ll all be alone. I really hated being 17 but maybe I hate being 24 just as much but in a different way. I think of myself in the past and the future as completely separate people and I wonder if I was to meet the tomorrow me would I even recognize myself?